Off the Deep End

These are the aimless thoughts of a hungry little alien who's actually old enough to get a job and get marrried. The writer's a little bit off the deep end, or so to speak. Anyway, she thinks she's an alien and she's just been sent to Earth to research on the mysteries of human behavior. She loves ice cream and chicken curry. (Of course, she puts them on separate dishes. Otherwise, hell's bells shall toll.)

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Amidst the confusion I find an abyss...

I am so confused... I don't know what to believe anymore... My heart is still bleeding. If loving someone is so painful... I still wonder how people go on living as if the pain is muted inside them. Why is it that when you love someone... you can't expect them to love you as you love them? I have another answer to search for amidst the crowds of this life's road...

I am blind...
the night has come
and smothered my day...
How can I live without the sun?
I stumble in the dark...
And realize...
that I am falling again.
And this time...
no one will catch me.

It's been a long time...

I've been hurt... somehow. My heart is broken and I have nothing to hold on to except the broken pieces. It bites into my palm and it reminds me constantly that I still have a heart beating inside of me. Is love really like this? Is love for me? Should I still believe that there is still someone out there for me who will not care where I came from or what I have done in my past? How could I stop my heart from bleeding and my eyes cease from crying? I am afraid to love... I am afraid to trust. I am afraid to hurt again. I am afraid to be alone...
The sun rises and sets...
another day has passed me by.
My wings have been torn...
I cannot find the will to return to the sky...
My heart cries out
with the voice of silence.
Is there still a heaven
waiting for me?
I close my eyes and tremble.
I have no one...
The winter in my soul
turns more tempestuous...
and my heart is frozen.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Became so damn addicted I dind't even see it coming!

Well... I never thought I'd see the day when i finally became addicted to an online game that guzzles all my cash like its favorite beer. Oh well... at least it's not like I'm doing drugs. Anyway, it's been a long time since I typed something in and i'm deeply ashamed of myself for not giving my blog a minute's thought. So... maybe now, I can once again exercise my poetic side. I met a lot of different people in the game hiding behind small and cute characters. It was unnerving to think that something... or someone that cute can be so heartless when it comes to dealing with others. I swear I'm never going to make my character that cruel... It's hust a game so what the heck gives? I mean it's not like it's a life and death situation where you really have to level up or die. So this poem is for them.
I sat under the shade...
waiting for someone to come along...
and notice me...
and take me on an adventure.
Waiting finally bore sweet fruit.
And then I had to die.
For him who took me
under his wing.
Safety?
Perhaps.
And I realized
under that sweet face...
lay a monster in wait
for its guiless prey.
I'm sorry...
and then I left...
and the day ended into
a scarlet-mooned night.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Feelin' poetic... sorta...

Just what it said in the title. I don't have much to write about since I just exercised my mind on making a grueling story about good and evil in a message board. So I don't want to write any long stuff. i'm just being addicted to my favorite fallen angel now. Lucifer. So I'll just make a poem for him now... I do hope that no one takes me for a Satanist or something...

The Fire of the Heavens rises
the Sun brings forth a new day...
The birth of the Fallen Star
and the blackened wings
of a crippled celestial child...
And the sadness ripples forth
from the hearts of angels...
music to one's ears.
But the Hands of Time
cannot return
the Fallen One
on his pedestal.
And the Sorrow pours forth.
Lucifer sings...
an endless song of Lamentation.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Aimless thoughts...

I am currently high on endorphins and phenylalamine. If anyones got a problem with that, I'll just give them a dose so they'll be happy like me!!! ^_^ I just registered on a message board just for writers and I'm amazed at the skill in which they play with words. Simply amazing. I am... so happy, I want to eat more chocolate, not think about all my problems, and be so nuts for a whole week 'til everyone gives up trying to get me to converse sensibly with them. Hahahahahaha!!! Oh, happy me!!! *sings and dances around with a broomstick and rolls on the floor* Wanna be happy, wanna be genki wanna be just so damn nuts to make someone think I've lost it and just get the heck outta my mind so everyone else thinks I'm not human. (Wait... I'm not. WAHEHEHEHE!!!) Come and be happy with me. (Oh yeah, for those of you who think I'm on drugs, you're mistaken 'cuz I'm high on Hershey's Dark Chocolate.)

Come take me away
to the fields to play...
The butterflies frolic
and dance in my mind...
Come take me away
to the fevered land
of Spring.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Just one more cup of coffee...

I have had a hard time going to sleep lately. Dunno why, but my bological clock seems to have gone berserk on me. I think I've become nocturnal once again. I can stay up until almost four in the morning and not even feel sleepy. Is it because of all the caffeine in my bloodstream? Wait... that would be impossible 'cuz I've never drunk coffee since ... uhh... two weeks ago. Oh well... at least there's someone I could talk to at those hours. I've acquired a kid brother from the artist's den. ^_^ Yes, you've read it right! I have a new kid brother, and I'm having so much fun!!! Yey!!!

Sunny day came
and I held your hand
as we ran across
the sprinkled lawn
and gathered the poppies
and wild marigolds.
Sunny day ended
and we smiled
as we painted the stars
across the midnight sky
twinkling, blinking, watching
as we sleep.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The true black...

Sometimes, I lie awake, staring at the ceiling in the heavy darkness of my room. Afraid. Quite. Somehow, I'm still trying to grasp the meaning of the darkness. Not just the literal aspect, but the hidden truths... Am I making sense? I feel as if the fingers of the lurking shadows are creeping towards me, seeping into my very core, and reading my thoughts and everything I have established about myself and making it one with themselves. Am I one with the darkness now? Have I succumbed to its beauty and pain? Maybe I can smile about it now... Even if I have succumbed, doesn't mean I have to endure the pain that darkness brings. I can only see its beauty... and love the dark. I am no longer afraid. Perhaps... as the days passed... I understood it... and made it part of me.

How lovely thy song sweetly wafting
in my slumbering ear I hear'st...
Softly...
Gently...
Thou takest me
into the realm of the night's revelry.

Friday, August 19, 2005

An Angel in our midst...

My story is about an Angel of Death who wished to become mortal, just so he can understand what it's like to feel all the emotions we do. He got his wish with a wierd twist.His wish took a human form... it's like your subconscious just became a living, breathing mass of evil flesh who was his exact opposite. This guy wanted to destroy and kill and most of the emotions he has are so violent, it has an aftertaste. Now the guy who wished for it to happen, but just didn't expect it to be this dangerous, asked the most sinister wish-granter, Lucifer, to take everything back. But Lucifer was naughty, and kept on playing with this angel's mind. I wonder what will happen next. Will he finally get is wish undone? Or will Lucifer make him suffer a little more than he should?

Come to my arms, Death...
and take from me my breath...
It's just like you have told me, my beloved...
"Life's not roses in your bed."